random topics paragraphs
im in a suprisingly good mood.
i think its cuz i actually had real conversations in school today. ive realized lately, that a lot of my "conversations" are very superficial. its getting on my nerves i hate feeling like a fake. so today, was one of those days when everyone actually wanted to discuss real issues, i love those days.
tommorow, my family and i are going to get on a plance and go see my grandmother, shes been really sick lately and she just got out of an operation.
im not particularly close to my grandmother, so it was a big suprise for me when i realized how scared i was on the day of her operation. in the middle of the school day, i suddenly felt as though i was dying. i was beyond scared, and its not just the idea of losing my grandmother that scared me, its also the idea of losing my dad. i love him so much, i cant imagine how he'll react to somthing like that. anyway, the whole day i kept thinking of the worst scenerios, and by the end of the school day i was on the verge of crying and throwing up. i called my dad who was with my grandma in Jeddah, to ask him how the operation went and i couldnt even talk because my voice kept cracking.
despite all of that, thank god.
this proves that im not some selfish-selfabsorbed-nonfeeling-dead on the inside-bitch. when my maternal grandmother died (allahyer7amha) i only cried once, when my mother told me (and that was because my mom was crying) i cried more later, about the fact that i DID'NT cry for my grandmother. everytime i think about the way i felt when my mom told me i feel ashamed. it wasnt like i didnt care at all, it was more like "oh well, thats too bad..." i hate myself for not feeling anything else cuz my grandmother loved me sooo much. but i guess i cant change that now.
on a happier note, my bestfriend alia is getting married this summer and obviously this means engagement parties, gifts and dresses. soooo, turns out dresses here cost about 1000+ riyal (if you dont want to look like an idiot in some rinky dink dress) i guess thats not a happier note...well for her it is.
oh yeah, i died my hair eggplant purple, the sucky thing is the dye is organic so it doesnt "stick" to hair and every time i shower i get purple foam all over the tub.
about a two weeks ago, i told my dad that i wanted to catch a LIVE coackroache for bio class...i didnt actually think this would happen. so that same night, my mom screams and my dad runs into the library/office to find a coackroache, long story short we caught it and i named him Frederick. i took him to school and fed him sugar cubes and my class and i made him class mascot.....then.....Frederick died! and i blame it all on yara! i told her to clean out the jar he was in (i sure as hell wouldnt) anyway she knocked him out of the jar and into the sink, cleaned out the jar and put him back in....with about an INCH of water! so i started yelling at her that he was gonna freaking drown and she kept saying "but 7aram, he needs to drink!" finally she spilled the water out...but it was too late, poor freddys body had absorbed too much water. over the next two days he became increasingly sluggish and eventually died....our class mourned for weeks. oh yeah, and we havnt buried him or thrown him away, his jar is still in the windowsill...we're actually waiting for him to decompose....
i should probably do my damn hw now...great
i think its cuz i actually had real conversations in school today. ive realized lately, that a lot of my "conversations" are very superficial. its getting on my nerves i hate feeling like a fake. so today, was one of those days when everyone actually wanted to discuss real issues, i love those days.
tommorow, my family and i are going to get on a plance and go see my grandmother, shes been really sick lately and she just got out of an operation.
im not particularly close to my grandmother, so it was a big suprise for me when i realized how scared i was on the day of her operation. in the middle of the school day, i suddenly felt as though i was dying. i was beyond scared, and its not just the idea of losing my grandmother that scared me, its also the idea of losing my dad. i love him so much, i cant imagine how he'll react to somthing like that. anyway, the whole day i kept thinking of the worst scenerios, and by the end of the school day i was on the verge of crying and throwing up. i called my dad who was with my grandma in Jeddah, to ask him how the operation went and i couldnt even talk because my voice kept cracking.
despite all of that, thank god.
this proves that im not some selfish-selfabsorbed-nonfeeling-dead on the inside-bitch. when my maternal grandmother died (allahyer7amha) i only cried once, when my mother told me (and that was because my mom was crying) i cried more later, about the fact that i DID'NT cry for my grandmother. everytime i think about the way i felt when my mom told me i feel ashamed. it wasnt like i didnt care at all, it was more like "oh well, thats too bad..." i hate myself for not feeling anything else cuz my grandmother loved me sooo much. but i guess i cant change that now.
on a happier note, my bestfriend alia is getting married this summer and obviously this means engagement parties, gifts and dresses. soooo, turns out dresses here cost about 1000+ riyal (if you dont want to look like an idiot in some rinky dink dress) i guess thats not a happier note...well for her it is.
oh yeah, i died my hair eggplant purple, the sucky thing is the dye is organic so it doesnt "stick" to hair and every time i shower i get purple foam all over the tub.
about a two weeks ago, i told my dad that i wanted to catch a LIVE coackroache for bio class...i didnt actually think this would happen. so that same night, my mom screams and my dad runs into the library/office to find a coackroache, long story short we caught it and i named him Frederick. i took him to school and fed him sugar cubes and my class and i made him class mascot.....then.....Frederick died! and i blame it all on yara! i told her to clean out the jar he was in (i sure as hell wouldnt) anyway she knocked him out of the jar and into the sink, cleaned out the jar and put him back in....with about an INCH of water! so i started yelling at her that he was gonna freaking drown and she kept saying "but 7aram, he needs to drink!" finally she spilled the water out...but it was too late, poor freddys body had absorbed too much water. over the next two days he became increasingly sluggish and eventually died....our class mourned for weeks. oh yeah, and we havnt buried him or thrown him away, his jar is still in the windowsill...we're actually waiting for him to decompose....
i should probably do my damn hw now...great
posted by Asabi3 at 4:41 PM
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